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The · Journey · of · Mind


Saying what others won't.

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And as my own actions create the barrier between me and the people that I care for most, I feel as if this is the way that things must be, yet I know that I must continue to affect and effect others. It is my way. It is what I must do to keep me from myself.
Where Is My Mind?:
Planet Lan
How The World Looks...:
amused yet unknown
The Voices I Am Hearing Today...:
Animal I have become Three Days Grace
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I can't believe how many of you there are! Why do I see them and you do not? Why am I so different?

I am not so happy to say that no one but me seems to get it. The reason for living plain and simple. Don't give me the song and dance about the whole everyone has there own meaning blah blah f*cking blah! There is no reason for someone not to know their reason for life even if it is so small. The reason for living is in fact to LIVE but not only to LIVE but to have a QUALITY LIFESTYLE. That is where to whole different for everyone thing comes in.
And I know that all of you will never read this or if you do you will NOT BELIEVE, and that is one of the most common reasons why the world is in the possition it is. There seems to be no place in this world for someone that thinks like me. What is so bad about trusting someone on something that you yourself don't understand yet?
Bad question isn't it? The main arguement for that is that you were lied to before or hurt before. Too bad. Life is pain but you don't see me stopping to cut my wrists or jump off the auditorium. But yes I have thought about these endings and have decided that if I end such a great story like that who would ever buy my book.
In the end life really is a book, just keep turning the pages...
Where Is My Mind?:
Planet Lan
The Voices I Am Hearing Today...:
Snakes on a plane
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I am not myself anymore. I feel that I am coming closer and closer to reality and that is one thing I don't want to do. It makes for a storm of such fury that I could lose everything again.
Ok. You don't understand so i will tell you a little... When I was little some bad things happened and as a defense I would put myself in my own world while the bad things happened so that I didn't hurt as much. After a while I just lost it everytime I came back so in a manner of speaking I packed and left...

But now it is like my notice has come and I have to go back and I don't want to it is too lonely there it is too "real" down there. I don't think I will ever be the same again.

Goodbye

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So I guess I have finally found something of some detail to talk about....I get to go to the mall again tomorrow and man does my mom get pissed when I say that. I am having so much fun I am drawb=ning and writing tonite for sure!
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I am having the time of my life here and I love it. Everything seems to be going good but then again I could just be playing in one of my fantasies again. I really do that so I am not really sure anymore. But all in all I think it is ok.
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I feel like that all of my friends are starting to get really uncomfortabl around me and it is really starting to irritate me. I say and for all that are ever to be my friends or whatever that I don't change for anyone but myself and I am not really all that good a person to begin with so there I said what all the others say behind my back.
I do have to say that I am at least straight forward and honest with most of my feelings which is alot more that what I recieve from somepeople.
If you think this is where I am going to say that I am just overreacting and to "not mind me." Forget that. I love to be heard and I will be heard for I am not afaid to speak(another fault but in its self a very good thing).
All in All, What I am tring to say is , If you want to have friends for a long time, do not play the emoticon game. Be straight forward and above all honest.


I preach the words that make this country ill and say what pleases me... Believe it!
Where Is My Mind?:
Planet Lan
How The World Looks...:
pissed off pissed off
The Voices I Am Hearing Today...:
Hard rock
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Just another update from your very own. I am going to miss the friest 2 weeks of school and I won't have to make them up. I am going to go to new york and see some sights and meet some family. I hope to see you all soon and hopfully before I have to go.

Your friend,
Daniel Dye

Where Is My Mind?:
The stupid public library
How The World Looks...:
amused amused
The Voices I Am Hearing Today...:
more songs in my head
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I am really sorry for not posting for such a long time, But unforturnatly, I no longer have a phone and that means no dial up. So I will have to post less frequently and do it at the mall.

I have some really good news. I get to skip the first two weeks of school! YEah Yeah!

I am going to see family up north and the school can't interfear(hee hee). I will be gone around the 13th so I will try to post ASAP but if not know that I love some of you and the others are "just" friends.

Till I write again,
Daniru Aren Dai

Where Is My Mind?:
Planet Lan
How The World Looks...:
hyper No School for two more weeks!
The Voices I Am Hearing Today...:
Some rock music
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I really am a bit bored tonight. Gosh! It always seems that I have to write at night. BUt being the half apollite that I am supposed to be...I believe it is fitting don't you.

So I have found a new love for writing again and I am going to continue to draw. I love this beautiful life that I have right now. I don't think I have ever felt like this before. A want that can't ever be had but an assurance that the want will never be taken from you.
I like the feeling that I'm(you) are the only one in that person's(my) eyes. I am utter in love here and I can seem to stop myself but It is something I had been trying to disbelieve for some time. I can't though and I believe that all of you know the feeling by now. I do believe that however fleeting and brief this feeling is I will enjoy everbit of it. I am lit and I am fiery. I am in love.


But more on this later. I am thinking on intruding on a roleplay that I have been following...It is utterly perfect except for the fact that it doesn't have a villian. I have elected to be the villian I need a go ahead and then I am in. What do you all say think I can play a bad guy...

I have to go for now but I will be back soon.
Where Is My Mind?:
In the clouds
How The World Looks...:
loved Loved and in love.
The Voices I Am Hearing Today...:
Bran-New Love song by Pillows
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Well another late night for me because once again I can't get to sleep. I have a major problem with sleep. I do sleep don't get me wrong but I just can't sometimes because my mind won't let me. I have an affliction that causes me to be restless and my mind to be unyielding in its attempts to do what it normally does. Think.
I hate it when I can't stop the noise. I just hate it. Sometimes I wish that it would all just stop for a second so I can have some peace but that is not in my life plan. I am in a constant war with myself and I think my sanity is starting to lose. BUt I know you are all saying I though his sanity was already gone...worng. Oh so worng... You do not want to be there when I snap and personaly I don't want to be there either.
I torment myself into a vortex of emotions and ideals mixed with thoughts and possiblities. I am a strange person and I pride myself on it. I don't think like others and I don't feel like others. BUt... I do have to say that no one should ever say that they want to be like me. Do not ever say that. For one, You should strive to be your own person at all times. And secondly, No one knows more that me what my life is like...it isn't for you.

I guess most of these rants and emotional lectures come from another one of my flaws. I have an almost crippling fear of forgetting or being forgotten. I want to be remembered. I want people to remember me for helping them..for making their life more fun or easier. I just want to be seen in the minds of others as someone different and someone special.

Looking back on what I have written today I see that I am not entirly secure as I once thought I was. But I do have to say speaking your mind is very relieving. I have to think on this more...good bye
Where Is My Mind?:
on the battlefield
How The World Looks...:
confused Confused and conflicted.
The Voices I Am Hearing Today...:
climatic classical music
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